Breathe, little one. I have you.

 

Felt like she was about to lose herself again. She was so afraid… Terrified. Tears didn’t help. Begging to be left alone didn’t help. No one being there to help. And she was so little…

Trying to breathe while uncontrollably crying. She knew there was no escape, nowhere to hide or run to. Her heart was beating fast. She thought her heart will stop beating any time soon.

Saying anything was wrong. Yes was the wrong answer. No was the wrong answer. Please was the wrong answer. She didn’t deserve being yelled at, being hit or being told that she is worthless. That punch felt stronger when coming from a loved one. Especially when another loved one was also begging for her to be left alone. Being afraid and not knowing when this abuse is gonna start, made the things worse, ain’t that right, little one? After the first bottle of wine, after your momma was late 5 min from visiting her mother, after whatever was happening in his sick imagination?

Never knew it was about to be a forever thing. But despite all this, she just wanted to protect her mother. Not herself, but her mom. Seeing her hair being pulled, being hit against the wall, those angry fists, those sick words he was shouting at you... You are not that, little one. Don’t let the memory of what happened control you.

Keep your feet on the ground and the eyes toward the sky.

Breathe, little one.

I have you.

There is no one coming to harm you anymore, you’re safe with me. Yes, maybe imperfect and flawed, but oh man, so worthy of love. Come closer, let me hug you, kiss your exhausted forehead and bring peace into your soul. You did not deserve this. This is not your fault.

I’m here.

Right here. Hold me tightly. Cry and scream as much as you can. Its been so many years. Things don’t are as dangerous as you thought, there is no need to be afraid. Trust me on this, I’m here to protect you. Let go of your fears and count on me. Learn to trust again, to smile from within. That’s it, little one. I will make sure you feel protected, cared for and loved. You matter so much to me 😊 Break down your walls if you want to, it’s safe to fall. I will forever unconditionally love every piece of you. It will be my arms that hold you together.

“But did you forgive him?”

“Yes, I did. When I saw him helpless, just the way I used to be.”